The friends I am staying with have 3 lovely children, 2 in school and one pre-schooler. It is an especially valuable thing to see that everyone deals with similar challenges, behaviour problems and outright joy that we do.
Things that seem like “spectrum behaviour” in our house look like “neuro-typical behaviour” in theirs. It makes me wonder how much we over-analyze Nathan and whether we simply need to give him a break once in awhile. Perhaps it is that I feel more arms-length from these kids, where I am able to see their behaviours as part of being a child, rather than something to be improved, molded or discouraged. I am hopeful that this new awareness will allow me to see my kids differently too.
Being able to relax for the first time in weeks has allowed me to get on the floor and play with the youngest child. It’s not that I didn’t play with my own kids, but that I have so much stress, worry and work that I can’t just let it all go and simply play. The fact is, I can’t remember the last time I was so present with my own kids on a regular basis. We spend so much time simply existing that I think we forget to live.
I know that I am probably being very hard on myself about this but it was part of my goal for my vacation was to relax, get centred and focused back on what is important to me. Mid-way through, I think I am starting to glimpse that.
And, if you can imagine, I think the hamster in my brain is firmly knocked off his wheel & is currently resting in the corner.