I have really started getting into a blog that Beth (at Fragile What?) enjoys. Kia had a blog post awhile back about the Top 10 Reasons I am NOT the World’s Worst Mother. It is really funny.
Now, she’s posted the reasons SHE might be the worst mother & has invited others to top her join her. So here goes.
The Top Ten Reasons I Might Be the World’s Worst Mother
1. I use YouTube as a Babysitter. That’s right. I don’t just let my 5 & 3 year old watch, I place a link on our desktop to all their favorite videos.
2. I “pretend” not to notice when my kids eat candy for breakfast
3. I let my kids spend hours outside, mostly unsupervised, near heavy farm equipment. (they know the rules, if you hear an engine, get on the grass. Otherwise, you’ll get “squashed” as Eric will gleefully tell you)
4. I make the kids clean out the bath tub & wash walls. (Ok, they actually think this is fun, but really…)
5. I allow them to sleep on the floor, on the couch, wherever, just as long as they SLEEP
6. I confiscated their playdough because I couldn’t stand picking it out of the carpet anymore
7. I have been known to say “dammit” and “oh sh*t” in their presence and then discipline them for using the same
8. I bake as quietly as possible to avoid their “help”. Usually they catch on right before the item goes in the oven & I promise “Next Time” they can help. Yeah, you guessed it. There isn’t a next time.
9. I have told them the: Chinese restaurant, library, and the grocery store are closed, all because I can’t handle one more outing. Heck, I told them once that the park was closed & that a whole city was closed.
10. I told them the neighbours dog was “just playing” with one of our new kitties. Yah, they knew the kitty had a snapped neck & was dead, but I told them it was ok because we have two that look identical. I figured I could just point out the second one later & say “see, kitty is fine”. Except that kitty is dead now too. Oops.
So, those a few of the reasons why I am the world’s worst mother.