Silence

It is 6:30 a.m. & for a few blissful moments, there is silence.  Gone are the tantrums, screaming, crying, moaning and whining from yesterday.  Gone is the meltdown Nathan had, I had.  We had a tough day yesterday.  I know it is because school starts in 2 days & Nathan is just working through his transition.  That doesn’t make it any easier.

Sometimes, for a brief moment I wonder what it would be like it autism hadn’t touched our lives.  How different would it be and would I understand how fortunate I was?  I think not.  I suppose we are fortunate because Nathan is generally very high functioning.  I remind myself, this could be worse.  He talks.  He walks.  He sees.  He hears.  He uses a toilet independently.  These are all milestones & while we wear the battle scars on our hearts, we have made them all.

The next phase is nearly upon us.  We’re all stressed and worried about this new journey.  How will the first day be?  How will the first week, month, semester be?  Will he make a friend?  Will he learn?  Will he run away?  Will the school full accept and include him the way they have promised?  Will he qualify for aide funding & get to keep the very experienced aide that has been hired for 6 weeks?

Only time will tell and I have never been much good at waiting.

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One thought on “Silence

  1. Even today I will look at Matt who is 12 and wonder how different it might be if he was “normal.” Would he play a sport? Would he like a girl at school? Would he be popular if he didn’t have FXS? I love the life we have but at times…just can’t help but wonder.

    Patience grows with these kids. Waiting will get better 🙂 Good luck with kindy!!

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