I am sorry for being a little harsh yesterday. It might have just been elusive, depending on your perspective.
D-day = Diagnosis Day. And yes, we got one. I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.
I remember how it felt when we did testing for Fragile X. Like a sucker punch, as I realized that this might be a fit for Nathan. That was like a warm-up round.
I kept saying, just give the kid some letters, any letters, and we can move forward with school planning. I didn’t think that a bunch of random letters would mean anything.
I was wrong. They do.
Those letters feel like a piece of ice has gone through my heart, leaving it in jagged edges, exposed and raw.
Worse than that.
We still don’t have the Fragile X results yet. I am not sure I even want to know.
It is by the grace of God that I am still hanging on, keeping it together. But I am dangling so close to the edge. Between my faith & my sons, I think I can hold on one more time.
We’ll talk about the actual diagnosis another day. I need to tell our parents first.