If you’ve been reading this blog for the last month or so, you’ll know that I have really been struggling through my faith.  There is quite a bit about it here, and here if you missed it.

Our church celebrates Christian New Year’s Eve on the Saturday before the first Sunday of Advent.  It’s a big potluck party and we try to go every year.  (I missed it this year, boo hoo)  I like the concept of a New Year for Christmas because Christmas has always felt like a new beginning for me.

I’ve had a habit, since I left home, of giving God another “try” at Christmas.  I often went back to church through the Advent season, sometimes managing to see all 5 candles lit, sometimes 3.  It wasn’t about the tree, the carols or the season in general.  It was about trying to reconnect with the faith I had growing up.

As an adult, I had to learn faith all over again.  I was brought up in a church that not only invites us to question but essentially demands it in order for growth.  The problem was, I got stuck at questionning, not realizing that the best place to find answers was inside the church, not outside.  Notice though, I said “answers” not the answer.  There is a profound difference. 

I started out looking for The Answer.  I think this is pretty common in my generation, so desperately looking for spirituality, but not wanting to be religious.  For me, I find the answers in the Christian church.  They aren’t easy ones and I still have questions.

In this season of Advent, a season of getting ready, I have tried to find ways to be more open and accepting of God in my life.  I find that my days are coloured in a different way and that I’ve been able to see, for the first time, how crazy I’ve made my own life. 

Advent gives us a chance to take time away from the busy-ness of life and find the peace of God.  For the Fourth Sunday of Advent, I wish you that peace also.